Look at us, in NYC's Radio City Music Hall, minutes away from seeing my idol Oprah Winfrey speak to "me" about her incredible life. She is so inspiring for me to live my best life!
This couple SURELY gets along ALL of the time?! This couple wouldn't bicker and argue over nothing ... they look so happy and full of joy and pure bliss, they must live their best life at all times. Uh, NO, not this morning!
It all starts off great ... kids awake at their usual time, everyone gets showered, dressed, Jay and I tag teamed on breakfast and lunches, I take the dog out, the kids watch some iCarly and Jay does a bit of computer work. Initially he says he's going to stay home to catch up on emails while I take the kids to school and he would then come and help me get groceries in case I was "still weak". Awesome! Good plan for the beginning of the day. Then he changes his mind, and we are all going and then he and I were going to the grocery store before he had to attend a meeting at 1230. Again, perfect.
We drop off Hunter, wait for Em's gate to open, Jay does some calculating, Emy and I play eye spy. Everything is hunky dory, Emy goes to class and we are off ... to get groceries.
Jay doesn't turn left where we usually turn to go head to the highway. I ask "where ya going?" He says there is too much construction and turns right. Good idea, its always slow noving, especially at this time of day. As we are leaving the school grounds, he pulls over and calls his friend Henry regarding picking up our van today (Henry went to Cancun yesterday and brought it to Playa for us ... helped us out a lot. I knew he was bringing it but hadn't heard of a plan regarding picking it up). Jay says I can drop him off at Henry's work so he can get the van. Sure, I have no problem with that. Henry is in a meeting, but that's ok Jay says he'll call him later. We then continue on our way ... to get groceries.
So, in my head I knew which grocery store would make sense if I have to take Jay to get the van before I head home. But ... I will admit I kept that thought in my head ~ he should know what I was thinking, right?! So, we are driving and instead of turning left to go to the grocery store that I think would be the best option, he turns right! Again, I simply ask "where are you going?"
WELL, you would have thought I just told him he was the world's worst driver, he had the worst breath ever, didn't know anything about anything and that he just made the worst decision anyone could possibly make. Whoa, and I thought I had a headache before! "You're telling me I don't know where I'm going", "I told you there was construction!" and "You think I'm an idiot" are a few of the comments I can recall!
So, without going into the exact "he said" "she said", it was a quiet shopping trip, we didn't share samples and we returned home without getting the van! We battled back and forth and things got more and more blown out of proportion! Things from the past were brought up, our bad habits were pointed out, and plain stupidness came out of our mouths. We got home, unloaded groceries and, while our non English cleaning lady washed dishes, we continued to do the whole "yeah, well...." and "oh, REALLY!!". I think I giggled cause it had gone way over board, he started to check emails and said under his breath "I'll just take a taxi to El Dorado".
He had a few phone calls from either buddies or business related people back home and while I decorated the Christmas tree I couldn't help but overhear several "its good, have had a few adjustments but all in all its great"; "oh she's getting better she's mouthy again!", "oh yea, we love it here its all awesome!" I smiled at him a few times during his calls in hopes that he would get "I'm sorry that whole thing was so foolish" and "see, told you its all good". But, the stubborn side of me was still present too!
He got ready I assumed to go to El Dorado and as he was getting his bag together I tried hard not to laugh but smirked "if you walk to the security gate they can hail a taxi for you!" We both laughed and I ended up driving him to get our van. He explained to me why he felt the way he did and I did the same. We tried our best at this thing called C-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-i-o-n.
Why is it when we feel stress or any sense of tiredness, ailment or pressure we take it out on those we love the most? Without meaning to, mean and/or hurtful things can be said. The silly example above is a situation where a lack of communication was the instigator and frustration and stubborness took over. How common are these within a marital relationship: COMMUNICATION ISSUES, FRUSTRATION, STUBBORNESS?! I am guessing, but I would say they are there!
I would also venture a guess that these three factors play a role in our relationships with our kids as well. I know they do in mine. I know I need to work on my communication skills ... especially with my husband and immediate family. I know that I get easily frustrated (especially without my required sleep) and I KNOW I am stubborn. However, I am learning to ease off abit on that one cause my husband is much more so and I won't stand a chance!!
The day ended on a decent note, Jay and I are talking (!), he saved money on taxi fare, we have a fridge full of groceries and we have our van. Tomorrow I am going to do my best to be the best communicator I can be with Jay and my kids. If I sense that I am getting frustrated over anything during the day I will turn to another angle. And ... I vow to never ask Jay where he is going again!!
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