respect

There appears to be a commonality amongst the Mexican people.  I am not exactly sure how to appropriately label or describe it.  Is it "honor?  Is it "closeness"?  Or is it "affection"?  To be honest, I think its a combination of all of these but the one word I think that best describes the people I have observed here is RESPECTFUL. 

Not only have the majority of the people we have come into contact with, or watched over the last six weeks, been respectful to us but they have been respectful to each other.  Upon each greeting the Mexican people provide a physical salute.  Men greeting men either hug or shake hands with a "pound" and men to women and women to women simply hug and give a quick kiss on the cheek.  This applies to children and youth as well.  It is not frowned upon at all to see adolescents hug and kiss when they see each other at school, done respectly of course.  And it is customary for kids of all ages to hug and kiss their parents when they leave and arrive.  How many of our Canadian or American kids past the age of 6 still do this?

I have also noticed that verbal greetings are more formal ~ or respectful ~ as well.  Consistently you will hear "good morning/afternoon/evening" (in Spanish of course) amongst friends, family and strangers not a simple hi, non-emotional how are you or silence. 

It's well known that the majority of the working class do not get paid well in this country (comparative to our Canadian and American standards anyways).  However, we do not see people begging or panhandling in the streets.  We rarely see a local walking the streets dirty, intoxicated or causing trouble.  And we do not see many, if any, locals complaining or not smiling or waving back.  To me, these are perfect examples of people having respect for themselves.  I admit, in this area these individuals know the more they smile, help out and appear pleasant the more "tips" they can receive from foreigners.  But, I still believe that to work 8-12 hours per day 6 days per week for basically nothing these people would have to respect themselves for getting up every morning to make as much as they can for their livelihoods.  It would be easy to succumb to feelings of depression and hopelessness but they keep on working, smiling and greeting with a cheering buenos dias!

I would also say that respect for family is a natural priority here.  I have yet to see a child be disrespectful to his/her parents.  It is not uncommon for an adult daughter holding her elderly mother's hand.  Its not uncommon for a 14 year old son to kiss his mother on the cheek when he gets out of the car for school.

It is customary for the mother to stay home while the father works 6 days per week and/or both parents working 6 days per week while a grandparent looks after the children.  As well, I have seen younger children accompanying their parents to their places of employment.  Quite often we see a baby sitting in a walker type thing at the OXXO while her father stocks the shelves.  The maid next door has her newborn with her while she cleans C's house.  It is also quite common for several family members to reside together.  I have three different examples of this from three different "classes", for a lack of a better term.

Our friend P, 59 is what I would refer to as "well off".  He and his wife work and make very good livings.  P is British and MC is Mexican and is one of ten children.  MC's father (89 years old) resides with them and is cared for my MC and her brother and sister-in-law (who work for P and MC).  It is not uncommon for MC's siblings to come and visit for weeks or months at a time.

Our friend Y, 26 is a massage therapist (who works for $10 US per massage and may get one or four appointments a day depending on the occupancy in the resort).  Her husband is an IT guy at one of the resorts and both work six days per week.  Y also attends school to learn additionaly massage techniques and does private massaging on the side.  They have four children (2-10) and reside in her mother's 2 bedroom house with the 6 of them. her mother and 2 nieces that her mother raises.  While they are working, the grandmother looks after the children when they're not in school.

Our friend H, 32 is from Mexico City and resides here with K and her 5 year old daughter.  H makes a decent living (would be considered middle class in Canada) and continues to routinely send money back to his widowed mother.

All three situations are different both financially and age related but all depict patterns of caring for one's family.  To me this is very honorable and respectful.

As I sat here composing today's post on RESPECT I asked my 5 and 7 year olds what they thought the word meant.  Emersyn's definition: "being so nice to your parents" and Hunter's: "listening and saying hello to people".

If there is one thing I hope my family takes away from our experience is the simple yet convoluded exercise of RESPECT.