In 2006, I called someone the town had recommended to register Hunter for preschool. We were fairly new to the beach so when the president asked if I wanted to sit on the board I responded sure, what a great way for me to meet other moms and get out into the community. After that phone call I was happy I had found a program for our son ... little did I know I had just talked to someone that I would one day refer to as one of my best friends.
When I actually met this "friend" my first thought was wow, she has it all together ~ she was organized, straight forward, goal oriented and was very involved in her kids activities. But, she also didn't hesitate to let people know her thoughts or throw a sarcastic (but funny) comment to anyone in her presence! At times I thought she may be guarded and too busy to meet new friends.
I had a significant amount of phone contact with this "friend" in and around the time of our preschool fundraiser. (I like to think I actually "WOW'ed" her with my contacts and the incredible donations I obtained for the prize tables!!) Our sons were in the same preschool class and the following year on the same soccer and hockey teams. (And...on a side note, they continue to be on the same sporting teams and have become best little buddies!) I was in the same group as this "friend" more and more ... although she still didn't throw invitation my way for a coffee or one of her "cliquey" parties at her house!
After my "friend" had her baby in 2007 another girlfriend and I sent her a gift. Not realizing her lavish tastes in namebrands, we gave her an outfit from WalMart (which she undoubtedly regifted soon after!) We also politely asked if she wanted to join our newly created "beach girls splurge group" ... she said yes and we soon started spending time together during our once per month social gatherings.
Shortly thereafter I learned that she was very meticulous, creative, had a great sense of style and could whip up amazing appetizers at the drop of a hat. I learned that her Christmas tree and gifts were exclusively chocolate brown and gold, she loved to have fun, she had been a sailing instructor and photographer, she ran a business from her home and she loved to entertain (still didn't get an invite for anything though!).
During the next hockey season, my husband and my "friend" really clicked. Jay respected her straight forwardness and her devotion, he got her sense of humor and, most importantly, loved the talia in her coffee go-cups. He often spoke of her work ethic, her ability to multitask and on occasion would do the ol' comparison of wives and mothers to her!! I will admit I respected her capability to do so many things in one day and parent 3 busy kids too ... but I would not succumb to the comparison game!!
As it turned out, I knew my "friend's" husband from growing up in the same neighborhood and I really loved his gentle nature, his hug or handshake upon every greeting and his contagious smile. But, more importantly, I admired his relationship with his wife.
One day while sitting at the rink my "friend" received a phone call that her dad was very ill in the hospital. She asked if we'd stay with her kids until she could arrange her inlaws to pick them up and then quickly left. To us there was no question ... of course we would help out. In fact, we told the grandparents that the kids could stay with us until they needed to. I got a phone call the following day endlessly thanking us for dropping our schedule. I had forgotten about that afternoon until recently when my "friend" reminded me that we had really helped them out that day. It seemed so minute to me, but it was obvious that she truly appreciated what we had done.
Later that same year Jay was admitted into the hospital with pneumonia. After getting him settled the kids and I returned to the beach to already find a home made lasagne and garlic bread waiting in our fridge. My "friend" had left a note telling us to take care and don't worry about a thing.
These are two small examples of what friends do for friends but I can't explain how the giving has continued. I have discovered a side to my "friend" that is not seen in a lot of people, especially in today's hectic and selfish world. I can honestly say that my "friend" would do anything for those that she loves ... well ALMOST anything. She still won't eat chicken in Mexico.
I have witnessed and experienced generosity from my "friend" that I have not seen from many others. And I'm not talking material generosity ... I am talking about emotional support, offering to go out of her way to help another out, and a generosity of her time. My "friend" is a very busy person ... she is up at 530 or 6am every day to get "her" stuff out of the way before her family awakes (and "her" stuff includes: laundry, house tidying, lunch and dinner preparation, book work completion and banking trips to the city at dawn). She will stay up late to finish sewing hippo costumes or making teacher's baskets just so she can spend time with her husband and kids the following day. She is always willing to meet for a coffee (years later I don't even wait for an invitation!!) or go for spur of the moment boat rides or breakfasts... I just love this spontaneity.
I have come to get her sense of humor and abundance of sarcasm as well ... as a matter of fact I have become quite good at throwing sarcastic comments right back at her. I discovered that she is very open to those she trusts and isn't at all too busy to meet a new friend. She has whole heartedly befriended some of our friends and has taken on our family as her own.
I have seen a woman go through devastation with a house fire and all that such entails. I never once saw her break down, complain or feel self pity. This I respect more than words can type.
I have seen my "friend's" self confidence and indulgence blossom and I am so proud of her for this. Without lessening the doing for others, she has slowly started to do things for herself; she has lost weight, she has built an incredible wardrobe, she has travelled without her kids, she has let her kids travel without her and she has diminished her voluntary roles.
Our families have spent a lot of time together and as couples we have done the same. She and I have similarities that make spending time together so natural but the differences make the friendship interesting. She is certainly not afraid to call me on something she thinks I can be doing differently but she is certainly not afraid to tell me to hang in there and keep my chin up!
Prior to us moving here my "friend" joked about how much I'd miss her. To others this may have been taken as conceited but to me this was how my "friend" shared her emotion. The night before we left she had our favorite coffees waiting for us at the rink, they hung around until we were ready to go and I felt a hug that I hadn't felt in a long time. I saw tears that said "GF I am gonna miss you!" (OK, now I am crying as I write this ... "friend" you better be too!)
For the past several months we have greeted each other almost daily with a customary silly little "morning sunshine" BBM text. To some this may sound immature and foolish but I'll admit that over the past few weeks these messages sure helped me get over some emotional times. At 1146pm the night before we left I was still receiving comments from my "friend" teasing us about how much stuff we were taking, at 615am the day we left one saying "Good Morning Sunshine! Good Luck!!" and at 954am "every time I think about you guys it brings tears to my eyes. I am so excited for you but sure going to miss you". For a girl that doesn't show a ton of emotion I knew exactly what she was saying and feeling. I was feeling the same way about my dear FRIEND.
WOW, didn't intend this to be a book about you (cause almost everything else is!!)... but in a way I felt like you were here sitting right beside me as I told our friendship story. So, here's to you. Thank you for eventually inviting me to your house for whatever it was that you invited me to (actually, I probably invited myself), thank you for making me laugh when I really felt like crying, thank you for opening up your heart to me, Jay and our kids and thank you for just being you.
Good Night GF
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